Dear Me

My wife is AMAZING! 

I know, every husband thinks his wife is amazing but mine really is! She does it all, cooks, cleans, raises our three kids all while running her own business. It’s pretty impressive. (And before y’all come for me, yes I do my part too!)

One thing she’s not so good at though is taking time for herself. On the other hand, I am great at it, she would say I’m too good at it. I’ll let you in on a conversation we have just about every week. 

Dom - “Hey babe, I’m going to go golf real quick! Is that okay?”

Emily - “Seriously?” 

Dom - “Yeah, do you not want me to go?” 

Emily  - “It’s just that you get to go all the time and I never get to do anything.” 

Dom - “Okay, I’ll stay home with the kids and you can go do something, what do you want to do?” 

Emily - “Ugh I don’t know, I don’t really want to do anything. It’s fine, you can go” 

And then we both agree to have this same conversation next week.

The truth is, Emily suffers from something most mothers suffer from. It’s called “mom guilt”, it’s this idea that you are in some way a “bad” mom for taking time for yourself. We all know that this is a ridiculous thought but so many of us live our lives this way. Giving to others and never taking time to give to ourselves. 

I am a pastor and so naturally this will probably benefit those in ministry more, but everyone should get a hold of this revelation. 

So often I find myself making the entirety of my relationship with Jesus about helping others grow in Christ. Here’s what I mean by that. I read the Bible in order to get a word to preach. I pray because someone asked me to pray for them. I study because I have a small group to lead and need some content. Everything I do is for other people and all the while my spiritual life is dying. 

If you are in ministry in any capacity you can probably relate and have had seasons in life just like this. 

Now this next part might sound hypocritical, and honestly it probably is. But I want to share with you a revelation God told me was just for me. It's found in Habakkuk chapter two, verse one. 

“I will stand my watch and set myself on the rampart, and watch to see what He will say to me, and what I will answer when I am corrected.” - Habakkuk 2.1

Look at all of that first person language! Habakkuk wasn’t preparing his prophetic message to the nations, he wasn’t giving instruction to his small group or counseling that one person for the twentieth time! He was declaring what he was going to do and how he would respond to the word of The Lord. 

Too often we read our Bibles for others, or seek God for others. As christian leaders what we need to do is stand on that rampart and watch, not for a banger message to preach on Sunday, but watch to see what God wants to do in our own lives! 

My favorite line has to be the last four words Habakkuk says, “when I am corrected.” Wow, this was so convicting to me! We get so caught up trying to change other people’s lives we forget that God might have given you that word not so you can preach it but so that you can live it! 

With all that being said, I want to encourage you. Take time to grow you! We should be ministering or giving out of our overflow, not running on fumes. Getting to an overflow life means you keep things for just you.

Here is a good rule that Jesus puts on display for us. 10% of His life was public, 90% was private. we see three out of the thirty three years of the life of Jesus. After thirty years of obscurity Jesus comes out, gets baptized and immediately goes back into obscurity (the wilderness) for forty days! All through His life Jesus was going away to pray and be with His Father. Most of us live this backwards though, we show 90% of who we are and have 10% of a hidden life with God. We need to change that!

My wife hit a milestone last week. She actually went out all by herself while I was at home with the kids. She went for a quick coffee at a cool coffee shop to catch up on work and have some alone time. I am so proud of her! 

Let’s try to be better at this too. This week pray, read, worship with no other goal than to get close to Him, and when He gives you a song to sing or a revelation, don’t run to the pulpit with it or even social media. Be like Habakkuk and allow what you receive to change you! 

Live right, love everyone and pray hard!